God is making a beautiful thing: Deborah Quek

Recently, Deborah Quek led the Wednesday EAST Chapel time for a community bonding time on behalf of the Student Council. Deborah is currently studying Graduate Diploma in Pastoral Counselling at EAST and is a fresh face to many of us in the community. Below is a short interview to get to know this dear sister’s journey to and through EAST. Read on and be encouraged by how God is working in her life.

1. How did you come to know of EAST and decide to enroll as a program student there?

I first heard of EAST from some church friends who were either EAST faculty or past students! I was experiencing a season of “burnout,” and was encouraged to take a break and “rest” by changing my pace of life.

2. What were you doing before you joined EAST as a student?

Before I enrolled at EAST, I worked as a Paediatric Speech Therapist. I also do freelance photography and digital content creation on the side.

3. What has been your favourite course at EAST so far and what do you look forward to learning more at EAST?

It is hard to pick one, because with every course I learned so much more about how big God is, and how small my understanding of Him is. From Dr Justine Han’s class on Biblical Counselling to Dr Raymond Song’s class on World Missions, I have had so much to learn, unlearn and relearn. I am currently taking Dr Lewis Winkler’s class on Worldviews that is proving to be a real mental workout, but it has been enjoyable as well.

A practical class I highly recommend for everyone to take is Crisis Counselling. It would greatly add to your ministry toolbox!

4. What do you hope to do in your life and ministry with what you are learning at EAST?

At the moment I do feel torn between returning to my work as a Speech Therapist, or considering entering full-time vocational ministry. I hope that all these skills I have picked up from EAST would make me someone who is able to better help others know God more. I already see how my seminary studies have benefitted the way I approached ministry and others and even the way I approached work.

5. We understand you came from a Christian family. Could you share your own journey of faith in knowing and following Jesus Christ?

I am blessed to be born as a second generation Christian, with parents who love and serve God to the best of their capabilities. On the surface I played the role of a good Christian girl, but my inner life reflected something totally different.

My 20s were so chaotic! I remember turning 21 and hardly knowing what being an adult meant. I just graduated from the university and have had to decide my career’s trajectory which was a major cross-road for me. I had also just gone through a series of heartaches–through a broken relationship and a betrayed friendship. The proverbial feather that broke the camel’s back was when I was struggling through all of these issues and my father made a comment, “Aiya, she is just emo [i.e., being emotional] again.”

Perhaps it was the culmination of being disappointed by the people I loved that blindsided me. I wondered if God was truly good. My shallow understanding of what goodness is and what it meant to suffer tainted my affections towards God. I started to view him through the lens of my own desires and selfishness: “Why did I have to suffer like this? If you are able, why aren’t you fixing my problems?” This line of thinking only prolonged my pain, as I wrestled with God continually through that whole decade. How could a good God allow suffering in life? This caused me to seek out my own solutions to my pain, resulting in my emotional rollercoaster for the longest time.

Finally, exhausted with my own anxiety arising out of fear and doubt, I sought the Lord. I realised the solution to all my fatalistic and disordered thinking could only be answered through the unchanging truth found in God’s word and character. Life is indeed hard, but God has promised he is–and will be–with me through it all (Deuteronomy 31:8)!

I remind myself that God loves me deeply and has given me His presence, provision, and empowerment through His Spirit, His Word, and His people. Through my failures, it was the lovingkindness of God’s community that held me up and brought me back. On hindsight, the potholes I had encountered on life’s journey were necessary for my faith to be purified and made resilient and strong. Suffering was not intended in God’s original plan, but God used it nonetheless to mature my faith.

Though I was initially broken, He is mending me and making something beautiful out of me for His glory.